Gonzalo Higuain off to Naples, Luis Suarez over-priced and more baggage-laden than an extremely baggage-laden thing, Wayne Rooney. In terms of potential reinforcements to the forward line, things are starting to look desperate at best for the Arsenal faithful for this summer. With most of the world-class talent available this summer now (if ever) unavailable to us, I’ve had a rummage around the last chance saloon and in amongst the shaking, foetal-positioned corpses of Gooner #ITKs found a few alternative options that could help to turn around what has become another summer from hell for, well, everyone involved with the club:
1) Romelu Lukaku
Whilst prising away a player with such potential from a London rival would undoubtedly involve a level of delicate negotiation of which Dick Law can only dream, Chelsea’s pursuit of Wayne Rooney sees Lukaku likely to slip even further down the Stamford Bridge pecking order, and lends significance to every source of income the club can muster. Arsenal would undoubtedly be forced to pay a premium for the Belgian, but when you’re looking at £45 million plus for Luis Suarez, a man whose footballing ability is matched only by his ability to both look and act like a particularly vicious, excrement-ridden garden rat, a likely £25-35 million fee for a player with all the attributes Arsenal require, and time to significantly further develop, starts to look slightly more palatable. He’s clearly unproven at Champions League level, but anyone who saw much of him last season on loan at West Brom will know that this is a potential Premier League star in the making.
2) Cesc Fabregas
Man Utd’s very public, and (thus far) hilarious pursuit of our former captain is one of a myriad of reasons that make this transfer unlikely to materialise, but we certainly have the funds and history to make it happen, should the player be interested. While Cesc is clearly not the out and out forward that springs to mind when thinking of our current requirements, there’s a certain amount of sense that can be made of such a transfer if you think really, really hard about it. Cesc’s deployment as a “false 9” both for club and country in recent years means that he is hardly a stranger to a role further up the pitch, and given that we play a very fluid front three, and that both Podolski and Walcott like to drift inside, the option to play Cesc as the nominal focal point in games where guile is more important than directness could be an attractive option for Monsieur Wenger next season. On top of that, there’s the added bonus of further emedding the little-boy-lost look David Moyes has been sporting for the last few weeks, while the prospect of “bringing Cescy back” should be more than enough to sate the obstreperous foaming masses who seem only to exist in a digital environment. If current mutterings are to be believed, a £35 million bid could be enough to bring back the finest player ever to grace the Emirates pitch in an Arsenal shirt, and serious consideration should be given to such an option. If, that is, he actually would want to come back. Gulp.
3) Bring Marouane Chamakh back into the fold
Just joking
The real 3) Leandro Damiao
Many will turn their noses up at the thought of signing a player so heavily linked with the LWC’s over the past few seasons, but of the three listed here this is the most realistic prospect. He’s young, talented, and at £25 million offers significantly more value for money than Anfield’s most repellent inhabitant. Would he improve the squad? Undoubtedly. Would he be an instant first team player? Most likely not, but that’s the situation in which we now find ourselves.
So there it is. Three “out there” paths we could take. For what it’s worth, in my ideal world we’d be back in with a Napoli-confounding, Italian-gazzumping, record-smashing last minute bid for Gonzalo Higuain, but failing that I don’t see the harm in sounding out Barca over Fabregas at all- such a move, if it came off, would resound far beyond the first team pitch and is the kind of signing that could finally help to overcome some of the fractures that are really serving to divide Gooners this summer.